Is there a better word for Star-Struck?

Random ramblings on stardom when I can’t sleep.

Growing up in Los Angles it’s easy to be desensitized with the Hollywood machine and its byproducts, namely the “star”. They scurry on the same freeways I drive on, they collect things at the same stores I shop at, they feed at the same restaurants I eat at, they’ve shared the same incubators where I’ve studied at, they stare at the same moving images (and show off their pink sequined studded g-strings) at the VC Film Fest, and they’ve even played stupid drinking games with me the watering holes that I drink at. So when I cross paths with a “star” I’m usually more impressed with the random rodent in Chinatown.

This evening my wife and I had a friend come over to watch the kids so we could see a late night screening of PUBLIC ENEMY: WELCOME TO THE TERRORDOME, as part of the AFI film festival. Unfortunately, the film missed many marks to explore the impact of their music with the people should really count, and it was unclear what the film was trying to achieve. Yes, it was enjoyable, but it seemed like it was shot from the POV of a groupie.

To my surprise it turned out to be the world premier of the film and with that, as we sat in the theater right next to a throng of hip-hop stars. Directly behind me, and occasionally bumping my seat was Cool Mod Dee, directly behind my wife was Nas, and one more down him was Flavor Flav, who kept spilling pop-corn on a friend of ours (thanks for saving us those seats)! Further behind them sat Chuck D, and the rest of the Public Enemy crew. I was star-struck, or at least I thought I was. I was in awe to be in the presence of some of the people who first introduced me to art as social critique and resistance.

By time the Q&A started and the stars came out on stage we had to hurry home to relieve our friend of the now sleeping kids. On the way out of the theater I ran into an old friend who I went to school with and used to DJ my house parties. He has since become a “star” and is at the top of his field where he deserves to be (he always had the talent, but now he also has the fame). I said a quick hello and introduced him to my wife. There was a moment of disappointment when I realized that he might have not remembered my name, or even who I was, and I awkwardly said goodnight.

But alas this is Los Angeles, the land of plastic, and old friends move on and fame comes and goes. And while I was walking with my wife to the car I began to ponder whether I had finally become star-struck with Public Enemy. I was someone who admired their work and their impact on my life. Their fame had little to do this. I was both excited and honored to be in the same place sitting next to some of the people who have influenced a generation more that I could ever dream of doing with my own work. I concluded that what I as feeling was far from being star-struck, but an artist who appreciated their impact, and I could retain my self-imposed title of a native Angelino who could give a rats-ass about stars. But after this revelation, I had to ask myself: why then did I try to add Carson Daily as a friend on Facebook a day before when I did a search for High School classmates.

As for Lucas, the DJ standing outside the theater, maybe he didn’t want to remember that he used to DJ my small house parties, sometimes just for a friend who could only provide him with a meal at the end of the night. Maybe all he needs to remember is where he is headed, not how he got there. And if so, hopefully he didn’t remember that I still owed him a dinner for a party he DJ’d over 10 years ago. And finally, what’s so bad about being star-struck in this media saturated society, and why am I hating on others and myself for being so?